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So I have a question for anyone out there who can give me some feedback.  How do you really find out your true motivation to continue with this weight loss journey?  Its been almost exactly one year since I started, and I have lost about 33 pounds (from 198 –> 165.  I plateaued in April and haven’t lost since).  I was feeling pretty good about my progress and got lots of compliments from people at work, and my family really noticed a change whenever I would go home for holidays.  Someone even used the “S” word to describe me (yes, skinny!) which is totally absurd to me, but I pretended to believe it.  I guess this all came up when about a month ago when I was out with a friend, who although in a drunken state, told me I looked so much better, but how I should want to look really amazing on my wedding day (which is exactly 6 months from today!)  She was saying how every girl wants to be so beautiful and how I should keep trying to lose weight to feel even more beautiful on that day.  I was caught a little off guard by the comment wondering, is this what everyone else is thinking?  She looks good a little less fat than before, but she could look so much better?  I also struggle with the fact that my fiance has always been attracted to really thin women, a lot skinner than I think I can ever achieve.  So I go back and forth with my motivation to continue on - is this really for me, or just to make the people I love happy? I guess I don’t know if I think I want it because I like to please people (I’ve always been a people pleaser…) or it’s because I really want it for myself.  I have my good and bad days with my body, but everyone does.  I guess what I want to know is, how do you figure out how far is good enough for you in your weight loss journey when you have all this other input from people to sort out that might cloud your own feelings towards your body and your weight?

And that is because I just ordered the bathing suit I have been wanting for months now for my trip to the beach in August!  I have (from today) officially 15 weeks to look presentable in it.  I am so nervous, but I’m hoping having it hanging up will be the final kick in the pants I need to keep it up and get out of my rut.  It would be amazing to lose about 30 pounds, but I won’t hold my breath on that unless I go on the water and lettuce diet, and that’s not happening!!  So I’ll get back to my food excel spreadsheets and keep up with the workouts, and hopefully I’ll be able to be under 150 by then.  The thought of being in a bathing suit is enough to make me put down any sort of fattening food and grab a bottle of water (which by the way, has been making me pee like crazy!! I’ve been doing the 100 oz thing).  Here’s to hoping I can go 15 more weeks!!

So I’m down 24 pounds, and I’m really proud of myself! I haven’t stuck with a diet/exercise program this long…..ever, i don’t think. It’s been about 5 months, and for the last month, I’ve just been stuck at the same weight. I still eat the same as I did before, and for the most part I eat pretty well. I keep it about 1200 calories/day. I have been slacking on exercise though. I use to work out 5 days a week, now its more like 3. I do a 400-calorie burning workout on my elliptical, and some other ab and arm stuff. It’s just kind of weird that all of a sudden I’ve stopped losing. Go figure, once people start noticing and telling me they can really tell. My mom even accused me of being skinny over Easter (HA! not even close mom!) Its almost like my body is saying, “See people are saying how good you look, let’s just stop now.” But I don’t want to stop! I still have 33 pounds to lose. I’m not even half way there yet body!!

I guess I just wanted to see what other people who have reached this plateau effect do to get out of it. I don’t think more exercise, like trying to go above the 400 calorie level would be really good - in fact it might be a little dangerous at my calorie intake level. If you don’t take in enough, your metabolism shuts down - Lord knows I don’t need that! Anyone have any suggestions, or types of diets they have consistently lost weight on? I pretty much do a calorie restriction, not really following anything like low carb, etc. Any suggestions are welcome - I have to be in a swimsuit in T minus 4 months!! Ahhh!!!

I went home and had a great little break for Easter. I had Good Friday off from work, so I went home (3 1/2 hours from where I live now) to see family and friends. When I was home, my mom told me that they are going to be renting out a beach house in August, and my boyfriend could come too. I was very excited to hear this news! And terrified too! Ahhh the most dreaded season of them all…..swimsuit season!! But hey, its just another reason why I have to lose this weight. I really want to wear a cute bathing suit to the beach, and to look great for my boyfriend. So here’s to more reasons to keep making progress and not slacking on the workouts

Well, the good news is, I had a blast this past weekend. My boyfriend, and friend and I went to visit one of our friends at his college to hang out and party, which was a lot of fun. Needless to say, partying is never diet-friendly! The drinking was not good for my “diet”, and neither was the food at the pub where we ate dinner. But you know what? I don’t feel guilty about it. I think we all need a little break in this whole diet thing, or we’d go mad. We’d bing and fall off track. But if you plan events for yourself once in a while to not feel guilty about, I think in the long run it might help. Because you know what, once we reach our goals, its back to the real world where you go out to each and splurge on something every once in a while. I really don’t think someone can go through the rest of their lives eating 100% healthy all the time. I couldn’t go the rest of my life living without some of my favorite foods, and hopefully none of you guys do either! I read a lot of blogs about people being really upset with themselves for indulging. Well I say don’t be! As long as its not everyday

Well I’ve been thinking lately, that the next couple months could help me set some weight-loss goals for myself. My birthday is May 4th, and that is about 10 weeks away. Maybe I could lose 15 pounds by then? Then at the end of May, my boyfriend and I are getting an apartment together - I could probably lose 20 by then. That would put me right around 155ish…..almost a healthy weight for my height! It will be very exciting when Im in the 150s….I can’t remember the last time I saw them! And perhaps if I work reaaally hard, I could be at my goal weight (or hopefully close!) by his birthday, August 31st. I’m being optimistic here, so hopefully I can keep doing this. Hey, I’ve been at this for 3 months now, probably longer than any other weight-loss attempt that I can think of. Why stop now?

Well, Im not exactly sure, but I might have already passed my mini-goal, but I might not have. I have two scales at home (one cheapo one and a digital one - though the digital one has been a little crazy lately!), and I also went to the doctor. So 3 weigh-ins today. And this is how they went:

cheapo scale: 173 lbs

digital scale: 176.4 lbs

doctors scale: 186.7!!

WTF? These numbers have been driving me crazy. Granted at the doctors, it was 4:00 pm and I had on shoes and my winter coat. But still, it cant weigh 8 pounds! I came home and weighed in on the digital at 178. Yeah, I like to think the doctor scale is craaaazy.

I am going to my boyfriends this weekend, who has yet another scale to get an opinion from! I think whatever his says, I’ll just see if my cheapo one or my digital is closer, and then base my weigh-ins from there. Hopefully his agrees with the lower one! :-p Oh well, here’s to hoping my weight ticker magically loses a few pounds this weekend because my scales are nuts

I just updated my weigh-in, and hopefully its pretty accurate.  My digital scale and I had a fight this week (it told me crazy numbers that I know cant be true!) so we had some words, and I pulled out my good old $5 scale.  We got along better!  Its hard to tell your exact weight on those though - so it might be plus or minus a pound I guess.  But anyways, it still looks like I’m making progress! Only 42 more to go! (So I guess I’m 1/4 of the way there….)

Well this week I ordered my bridemaid’s dress for the wedding that is November 1 (which is what initially got me motivated for weight loss).  According to the measurements on the chart, I needed a 10 (woohoo!! I usually need a 14).  Luckily my best friend’s grandma does alterations for a living.  I’m hoping she’ll have to take it in 7 months from now :-p

Not much else new here. I hope everyone is staying on track and working hard!

Yesterday I went down to a weight I’ve been waiting for for a while now….179! This is a big deal to me because that means my BMI is under 30 now!  Now I just have to work it down to the healthy range.  I havent weighed this in about 2 years now, so its pretty exciting.  Hopefully it keeps going down!

I’ve been keeping an excel spreadsheet of food and calories I’ve been eating (nerdy, I know! I’m an engineer….I love spreadsheets! :-p) and that has helped me keep myself accountable and sticking with around 1200 calories.  You really don’t know how much you are eating until its all in front of you! 

Last week was hard for some reason, and the thought of quitting did cross my mind.  Goals that are so far away can be overwhelming and see so distant, but whether I stick with this or not, time passes on the exact same way.  Months will go by, and I would never know the progress I am capable of making if I give up now.  So I just tell myself stick with it, and 2 months from now, I’ll be so glad I did.  Not only do I not want to let myself down, I don’t want to let my buddies on here down either!!

Well its been about 7 weeks since I’ve started this weight-loss goal, and I’ve lost almost 10 pounds.  It seems like it should be coming off faster than that, but I guess this is average.  I just always thought that it slows down at the end as you start reaching your goal; I hope that doesn’t mean I’ll slow down towards the end - then I won’t be anywhere near my goal by November!

 I’m still plugging away though - doing a 300 calorie burning elliptical workout and some ab stuff 5 days a week.  And I’m on an approximately 1,200 calorie diet.  I do have a question though if anyone knows - I read that you shouldn’t go below 1,200 calories or it’ll slow down you metabolism.  Is that calorie intake or calorie deficit?  If it is deficit I should start eating more, but if its total intake, then I don’t want to eat too much and slow down the weight loss. If anyone knows, I would appreciate it!

Well I think that’s about it today!  I hope everyone else is doing great and keeping up the hard work - it WILL pay off! :)